Jen Veralle: All of the Truth

Truth be told, changing a last name is no easy endeavor. According to this service that’s already been so helpful, Newly Named says that the average person going through a name change needs to change their name in 30+ places. Yikes! And if I have to be making calls to various customer service departments to do so, is it worth it?

Outside of name-change paperwork and hoops, there’s the added challenge of a professional community of connections I’ve nurtured over 23 years as Jen Gilhoi not tracking with this transition. That feels bigger and more daunting. There’s also the hurdle of others understanding why I wouldn’t just go back to my maiden name. Why choose an entirely new made-up last name?

Why indeed.

Others’ Opinions

After a soft launch of the new name and intro of new business consulting services on August 27th at ModernWell and social media handle changes, I fielded a lot of questions, telling of the rareness of the direction I chose post-divorce. Some thought I had already remarried (wha??). Some couldn’t believe I’d leave an established name in my work to essentially start over with brand recognition and SEO. Some women said they’d never want to have a different last name than their children. Some were perplexed that I wouldn’t just slip back into the comfort of my maiden name. Some were like, he*l yes! (i.e. all who showed up 8.27)

Launch Party: New Last Name, New Services! ... at ModernWell

Ultimately, I had to leave others’ opinions of my choice in general to make up a last name, and my selection of the name itself, behind. As my dharma guru Betsy Weiner shared in March 2024 after I posed the question of knowing if this name change is right, she said, “Trust whatever you choose is right for you. As many hyphens as you need! HA! Seriously, this is for YOU and you alone. The rest of the world will have all kinds of opinions but those are none of your business.”

An Identity Crisis and Clarity

I sensed the transition might send me into a bit of an identity crisis. It undoubtedly has, but with 13 years of solopreneurship, feeling alone in decision making is certainly not foreign. And it’s not something I took lightly. I’ve known that I wanted to create a new last name since April 2023, when I got the call that my TEDx Talk would be globally released with leverage and support to elevate it. I envisioned the Talk’s launch as an opportunity to shift me from a last name of a now dissolved marriage to a new last name as a fresh start with manifestation in mind.

After writing and journaling, researching, and applying a brand and vision for myself 16 months ago, I chose a surname – Veralle (pronounced ver-all-lay) -- and started to settle into it. It’s never left me. It means “all of the truth” and even deeper, “seeing the truth,” which relates to the experience one can have when we truly see alcohol beyond the glamorization. The surname is tied to my work in the sober space. It’s Latin and Italian in origin, solidifying a connection I’ve always felt with the Italian culture and country, harkening back to a romanticism with the architecture, perhaps my Catholic upbringing, and my choice to study in Rome at age 21. Futuristically, there is an Italian villa and promotion of Italian nonalcoholic wine in my sights.

The Transition

For the transition, I worked with my dear friend and creative, Renita Faye, to take my original logo from my JenGilhoi.com personal brand, launched August 2021, into a new expression of the logo. The original brand was about cocooning, learning, nurturing, and going inward to figure out my new path and next chapter in life. Now, the butterfly goes from emerging from the cocoon and taking flight into a full-on butterfly, fierce in its open-winged stance and embracing purpose with a nod to a cocktail glass fit for a nonalcoholic beverage at its core. It signifies years of personal and professional growth and finding purpose. The next chapter is about leaning into serving others through advocacy and business growth.

I’m ready to go with the next chapter, armed with a recent mantra I embraced at a Sauna Social event I co-hosted: What if it all works out? As that pans out, find me at jenveralle.com, em: jen at jenveralle dot com, IG jenveralle, and LI jengilhoiveralle (for now). I’m grateful to have had so much support through this transition – thank you, you all know who you are!

Truthfully, I share this perspective and journey for others navigating new identities and name changes. It’s largely a challenge unique for women, given women most often change their name initially through marriage. If this is you, reach out, I’d love to connect. As of fall 2024, I’m eager to embrace the new last name Veralle. Perhaps a few lessons of Italian are in order.

NA Cheers to Transitions