VII Years, Now Flight
Taking flight
The universe sent me a heavy-handed nudge in the spring of 2021: it’s time to create. It’s time to have a voice. It’s time to really put yourself out there if you truly want to serve others.
While I contemplated who I would serve and how I could help, I moved forward with what I knew: women empowerment and story sharing is rising, our world continues reeling from the effects of the pandemic — good and bad, and staying stagnant doesn’t serve me or the world well.
On my seven year soberversary (7.28.21), I stepped into a familiar room in a place I’d never been. It was a women only AA meeting and what I mean is that the room felt familiar because of that shared experience, but it was a new church basement I’d not yet set foot in and an entirely new group of women whom I’d not yet met. I rushed in, let the trusted servant know I’d be needing my VII medallion, and took my seat.
When it was time to answer the medallion milestone story prompt, “How’d you do it?” I had nothing planned or rehearsed. Seven years is a long time to recap. But I took a deep, calming breath and let the words rise. What came out was some turning point moments in my journey. At one year, I finally ventured into public, social spaces like bars without gripping anxiety or irrational annoyance. At three years I started sharing more of my story on social media and beyond those in the rooms. At four years, I found an outlet to serve and help others in recovery through Dissonance, where I’m a board member today. At seven years, I absolutely recognize the call to be more specific about the hardest work I’ve ever done and to let God and the universe work in and through me to allow the story a voice in service to others.
During the meeting, we read from the Big Book (AA’s bible): Crossing the River of Denial (page 328).
She finally realized that when she enjoyed drinking, she couldn’t control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn’t enjoy it.
When storytime ended, we went around the room adding our thoughts and perspectives. The women shared beautiful examples of how their life has transformed for the better, and how they could see themselves reflected in the woman’s story from the book. I thanked them all and noted how empowering it had been to hear their words.
I left that meeting feeling more inspired than ever to invite others who are suffering from alcohol abuse to find a way to sobriety sooner. It struck me how anonymous recovery is. Outsiders rarely have a glimpse of the rooms — where strong bonds form and an incredible safety net exists. These soulful women in recovery, myself included, seemed all very content in our sobriety. Isolated, perhaps, from seeing the real and necessary work we could be doing in the world beyond the rooms. The work of societal change, including cultural questioning around alcohol, and those in recovery openly using language that invites others into deep inquiry free of shame or judgement.
I am setting about this work now. It includes working with Dissonance to shape ideas around conversations and spaces that allow people to seek help sooner; and sharing stories, experiences and memoir around past traumas and not-enoughness, avenues into holistic wellness, and the hard yet incredibly rewarding work of sobriety that sticks. Interesting that the universe who screamed at me this spring to create wings, is now silent. I fully recognize that it is time to do my part and just take flight.
